This is the first week I have been flying solo with the boys. It has been a week of highs and lows and wins and fails. A week of frustration, tears, exhaustion and laughing just to keep my sanity in the moments after I just want to pull my hair out.
The transition to a family of two kids sunk in with Conner this week, and he's been taking it hard and taking it out hard on others.
I thought surely that he would not be okay with me holding another child, but that's not the case at all with that little boy. Surprisingly, he gets very upset if Joe even touches the baby which just goes to show the possessive bond he has with his daddy. It obvious to me by the hundreds of times I hear "won daddy home" every day. starting at 8am.
Conner does love his baby brother, but he doesn't understand that his highly energetic body needs to calm down around Linden, and that results in him getting frustrated and taking it out on little brother.
It continues downhill from there when I explain to him that he needs to love on the baby boy in a gentle way and he retaliates by punching me or Linden. And that's my breaking point on patience.
Surrounded by crazy.
But there moments when he does approach his brother in the most gentle way to hold his hand and kiss his head. Those are the moments that I wish my camera could forever be implanted into my hand so I can capture these times at any second.
happy baby.
Brotherly bonding
And then there are the moments of exhaustion. I admit, I feel way more rested this time around than when Conner was a newborn since I don't have to pump milk. I've learned when you have a baby that will nurse, life is way easier and you get a ton more sleep.
But, at the end of the day, it's still sleep deprivation.
It's always the moments that you are so tired during the night that changing a boy's diaper never goes well. As I was changing Linden's dipe, it wasn't a second after I finished wiping that little bum down that he just let a second wave loose all over the clean diaper. Joe went to fetch me another one while I tried hard to not get the poop everywhere. And the little boy sprung a leak.
Perfect.
So I covered it up with the new diaper Joe brought me until I thought he was finished.
He wasn't finished.
He waited until I lifted the diaper back off before letting the pee flow again.
Well played, Linden.
By the way, I was changing him on our bed.
I cried. Then I laughed because, really, how else can you stay sane?
There were little victories that I celebrated this week.
I took the boys grocery shopping by myself for the first time. It can be intimidating taking a newborn grocery shopping because you never know when they're going to decide to start screaming until their face turns purple because they apparently decided to add an extra feeding session while you are trying to get through the check out lane. And you're behind the slowest person on earth.
That was my trip last week. This trip didn't go like that. There were no tears. Linden slept. Conner snatched and ate an apple when I wasn't looking. (I can't see him over the car seat so I was surprised when I checked on him only to find him munching away.)
But there were no tears. No screams. No throwing. No angry yells.
Our first outing by ourselves was perfect.
Somebody's eyes are getting more blue every week. We'll see if they stay that way.
That smile though
I also have the boys on the same afternoon nap schedule. Best thing ever and I hope it stays that way.
And because these brothers take naps at the same time, I have been able to lace up my running shoes and start getting back in the groove of running.
It feels good.
They're only one mile runs, but it does a number on lifting my mood and energy level to get me through the rest of the day.
Plus there's a little mom pooch and a couple love handles that have decided to make their home around my waist.
baby dreams
Where has the time gone? Please stop growing up.
'Gun show' is this way, ladies
Do you see the leg rolls?? We have leg rolls :)
And these are the moments I want to stay frozen in forever
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